You see, I've been at AT&T customer for something like seven years. I first got one of their cell phones as an emergency/out and about thing on a pre-paid plan, with most of my phone calls still being handled on a standard old land line. After I started gettting my internet through the cable, instead of the phone line, it started to make sense to just drop the land line altogether. A move came along shortly thereafter, and I never reconnected the land line.

By this time I had already discovered the wonder of the used cell phone market. You can get just about any phone you want, and if you have a little patience, usually for a pretty good deal. I already had a Nokia that I really liked, so there was no reason to sign up with a new contract. Instead I went with AT&Ts pick your plan option. The same plans as with the contract, but no contract. And it all went downhill from there.

Fast forward a couple more years and I happened on a deal for an iPhone. Unfortunately, Steveo was enjoying the reach around from AT&T so much that he let them dictate all manner of fucked up shit with regards to getting one of them working on the network. The good news is that the iPhone community provided options. I was able to get the phone working on my plan without too much trouble. The problem being that each new firmware release meant repeating the same process again, with varying degrees of trial and error success. At some point I tired of that game and decided to just switch over to an iPhone plan and be done with it.

But wait, it wouldn't be that easy. I stopped by the AT&T store and explained what I wanted to do. The CS rep said that would be easy. Just take a couple minutes. A couple minutes turned into 45 minutes with both of us talking to AT&T and Apple on the phone and eventually nothing being done. I ended up being sent home to do all of this through iTunes. Of course, that didn't work either and the end result was that I had to go back through restoring and cracking my phone to get it working again. And the bonus, the customer service asshole at the store had deleted my medianet plan, so now I didn't have the working data that I had before.

But it gets better. A new round of calls from home takes me back through the fucked up maze of he said, she said bullshit where AT&T says it's an Apple thing, and Apple says it's an AT&T thing. The end result gets down to me talking with someone from AT&T and explaining it as simply as I can. Look, I already have a plan that you offer with the iPhone. All i need you to do is activate the phone for the plan and add iPhone data. "Oh, that's not possible. You'll need to create a new account."

My next question was, "So, you're going to screw me out of my rollover minutes then?" "No, once you create the new account you can call in and somebody will transfer them over." Ok, and I'll be able to keep my same number? "No, that's not possible." So you're telling me that I have to create a new account, with a new number. And my old number is still going to be available, because it's holding my rollover minutes, but there isn't anybody in all of AT&T that could possibly make that my number on the new account? "No, it's just not possible."

Even better, I was going to have to sign up for a two year contract to get all of this done. The CS rep just didn't seem to get my reluctance to do this, given that I was getting nothing out of the deal. You see, I already have the phone, and in fact I already have the plan you offer with the phone. Why on earth would I sign up for a two year contract? There's nothing in that for me. "That's just how the system has to work."

So, what you're telling me is that I should just go out on the internet, find how to unlock my phone, and just dump AT&T because this is all way too much bullshit to deal with. "No, I am definitely not telling you to unlock your phone." And it went on and on in circles. The worst customer service ever.

So, fast forward to Friday. I spent no more than 20 minutes at the t-mobile store and walked out with a new plan, unlimited data, and my same phone number. Apparently those crafty types at t-mobile have cracked the secret bible code that lets you move numbers around to different accounts. About three hours later the port cleared and my number was now working on t-mobile. And the best part, after all of that, I'm now paying $24 less a month.

Yeah, that'll do it. You have to be more curious about Zenescope's Beyond Wonderland after seeing that picture. If you're not, what the hell? Look at the picture again. Now? Thought so. The comic is another twist on the classic Wonderland story. So, great idea. Going off the short preview available at the convention, it's well written. It also has really good artwork, complete with impossible titties¹. And it has these two, best described by everybody's favorite Poptart after seeing the pic as "Holy awesome crap! Why wasn't Alice and Wonderland REALLY like that?" Ah yes, why indeed? And that tells you as much about why I love Poptart so, as it does about the official carnage sales reps of the year. Seriously, we just need to find a way to get these two to start selling the album². The comic, since you are now so rightly interested, will be available, full tilt boogie, in July.

¹ best tag ever
² overdue link